Around 5pm, we decided to head back to the hospital. And yes, rush hour was not ideal! When we arrived, I was started on gas and air, practicing my deep breathing at the same time, getting into my own rhythm. I could hear conversations around me, but I kept my eyes shut and focused entirely on my body. It felt surreal. I didn't intend to do this but it's what my body wanted to do and my plan was always to follow my body.Time blurred as I waited to get into the birthing pool, but when I finally submerged, a wave of relief washed over me. Within a couple of hours, I was 8cm dilated. However, I had to get out of the water for this examination, and unfortunately, this is when things began to take a turn.
Even through the chaos of it all, I continued practicing my breathing exercises, affirmations, and visualisations. I kept my focus on my baby being born safely, he was always my priority. When I finally laid on the operating table, I stayed calm, reminding myself that everything would be okay.
The moment I heard his cries, and saw him for the first time, my life changed forever. There are no words to describe that feeling. In that instant, I knew that was my purpose in life, to be his mum.
Being moved, and engaging in conversations, I lost touch with my hypnobirthing state. The surges became too painful to manage, and this is when I made the difficult decision to opt for an epidural. The epidural led to my contractions stopping, and I was placed on a hormone drip to restart them. But, this caused my baby’s heart rate to drop. After some tense back-and-forth between the doctor and midwives, I made the decision to have an emergency C-section.
Embracing the Unexpected
Leading up to the birth, I was filled with anxiety. I'd been told I was having a big baby, and both my midwife and consultant suggested that I should be induced. But deep down, I knew that wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to let my body guide me, and I hoped for a spontaneous labour. To help with my anxiety I started listening to Hypnobirthing audio focused on visualising your birth, I listened to this every night as I was falling asleep and within a few weeks I started feeling more optimistic and dare I say it, excited!
At 40+6 I went into spontaneous labour. I began experiencing period-like cramps during the night, and by mid-morning, they would subside. This went on for a few nights, with my partner calling in to work every morning, telling them the baby was on the way. Finally, a couple of days later, the cramps didn’t stop, and my lower back began to feel increasingly uncomfortable. That’s when I knew: It was time.
We went to the hospital, where I was examined and found to be 3cm dilated. I was given the option to stay, but I decided to go home for a little longer. I spent the next 12 hours alternating between the bath, the birthing ball, and resting while leaning on the changing table where, in just 48 hours, our little boy would lie.
